GOD......

YOU know that i adore YOU.
eventhough i'm just a human , an ordinary woman , who has many meanegresses , i always push myself to be a better person..

GOD , YOU are the only ONE who knows me well.there's no secret i left behind on YOU , there's no any..
i can't tell all about my life to any persons..
because they won't understand the feelings i feel all my life.

because of that , i just trust in YOU.

i make many lies to EVERYONE , just hoping myself get in a safe condition.
i don't care about sins created because of my falsehoods.
there will be nobody could understand me..

they just give me advices on and on.
they just talk slightly mocking to me , advises me , just like they were a holy person!
just like they were a sint!
just like they were a truthfulness way!
just like they were the only one who never met any sins!
I'M SICK AND I'M TIRED!


this is the first moment i finally knew that i'm lonely and i'm tired.
i have no one to hug.
i have nobody who could understand what i feel.

why they all so selfish?
why they just wavin a TRUE flag nd notice that , 'hey echa , you're in a wrong way!'
or , 'you're so damn stupid , echa. what a moron you are'.

there's no one who really loves me , dear GOD..

they , who confess that they love me nd do care about me , just need me.

the one who loves me really , is the one who accept me by the way i am , the one who doesn't keep advising me on and on without paying attention of my mistakes , my behaviours , my life , my decision , my suggestions..
the one who will never leave me because that one knows that i'm just a person who has a limitation of being a human..


i'm not a warmhearted woman , GOD..
i'm evil.

but , please guide me.
don't blame on me.



i'm tired.