A Part When We Apart

   There is a lot of people I have met in my life. I have best friends, but they leave. I have lovers, but they also walk off from my life. It's not a matter for me. At least, in the long run, after fighting with tears and time, I felt so much better.
 
   I thought best friends were really the best thing we have in our life, but I'm shown that they weren't. Plenty of people have me titled as their best friends, and sometimes I do that too. But, this is the problem: I used to be taught by words and stories that best friends last forever. However, now I finally find that best-friend is way a fairy tale. Why? I think I'm so fucked up by every single story I have with every different they-call-them-as-best-friends.
 
   Having made boys as best friends is a mistake :"( because I fall in love; we both fall in love; he falls in love with someone and his gf doesn't like me; he falls in love while I don't. Being a professional is hard when someone is in love and stupidity can be done when someone is in love. I mean, when someone is in love, s/he will do everything he can to get his love even if s/he has to be in silent just to make sure his/her love stays being friend with them.

   Girls as best friends doesn't work well in my life too. They simply go after we rarely do things together. We used to laugh and be mad together, but when we come to a phase like a graduation, everything easily changes. 3 years never ever been enough to let them pass your life. You have to see them with their new friends or even best friends; you have to be jealous when they cannot frequently spends their time with you anymore; you have to find other friends just to find out that there are no ones like the old ones you had...

   I don't know where destiny brings me now. If someday I open my eyes and discover a new reality, I just really hope that I will not get in on the wrong situation just like I use to do. I will be so glad if someday I will come upon a period when I will not get lost in a part when I have to be apart anymore.

   Those colorful bitter pills I swallow must heal me from plenteous pain I suffer in the entire of my life. I pay a lot for it.



xoxo,
Esra Masniari Tambunan