Today I decided to have a reflection by reading a bible and also praying. I feel so fragile because I am up against some problems in my life now on. I always try to be a cloudless person, hiding my desolation and also my anxiety. I am afraid of being called 'weak' or 'ungrateful'. I know GOD gives me many things to be thankful for, but every mankind has undeniably problems in their life, and so do I. I also don't feel very pleasurable with the youth organization in my church. The succinctness and solidarity which we had like dissipated. I don't know if I am wrong or not, but honestly, I know something is going wrong with us for I feel it happens among us now.. Honestly, this is so sad.. We were so close and we had so much laughter and great times together.. I become more crumbly and don't know whom I should share my problems to. I also feel sluggish to join the youth organization; the bible class every Saturday night and the choir practice every Sunday. I don't wanna be a faked person; I cannot join such a faith fellowship while I don't feel the spiritual growth inside me. Everything changes so fast.. Problems are getting bigger and more than I had before. I cannot rely on anyone. I feel so empty and flat. I cannot cry. I really don't know what to do. I don't know what I feel, either.
GOD knows I am now so weak now. But, thank GOD, he knocked my heart. HE always makes me to remember HIM every time I feel so cranky to stand. By reading bible today, I found Romans 12:9-21. I didn't plan to open any verse, GOD just led me to. These are the contents:
"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good".
I was so surprised. I felt like GOD talked to me through it. Those verses I read are very precise to the condition I feel right now. I really cannot explain the detail of my problems, but I'm not trying to brag that GOD gives me hopes and solutions to my problems. HE will not leave me alone to handle it. HE lets me to take care of my life and every problem in it, but HE never lets me to deal with it alone. HE holds my hands and guides my steps. I am sure whatever happens now, everything will be just fine. I just need to be optimism and always be thankful to what I've got. I will live my life well, and make HIS words as the guidance of it. Like HE said,"Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer" (Romans 12:12). I will not worried about anything. JESUS is always be with me, and HE even lives in my heart. I know I will never lose HIS light. Everything will be wonderful just in time :')
Esra Masniari Tambunan
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar